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    aita for wanting my sons to stop excluding my daughter

    James

    Guys, does anyone know the answer?

    get aita for wanting my sons to stop excluding my daughter from EN Bilgi.

    AITA for wanting my sons to stop excluding my daughter?

    ...

    ... AITA for wanting my sons to stop excluding my daughter?

    AmItheAsshole Original (deleted)

    concernedfather256 10702 S 2022-04-17 14:20:56

    My wife and I have 4 children, 3 boys (26, 25, 23) and a girl (20). Some of you might wonder if we kept trying until we had our daughter, and unfortunately you'd be right. We've always wanted a daughter, and I'll admit that this desire made us less than ideal parents to our boys. We were so fixated on the idea of a daughter that we heavily favored her after she was born, much to the detriment of her brothers.

    Through therapy and counseling, we now know that we have made them their sister's scapegoat, turning our daughter not only into a spoiled golden child, but also a common enemy for the boys and the bearer of their resentment. Their childhood I think made them especially close as brothers, but it only served to highlight just how much they despised us and their sister. By the time we realized our mistakes, it was too late to undo the damage. The eldest two already cut us off, and less than two years of therapy and counseling did next to nothing for our youngest son. He graduated high school and we never heard from him too since. We are saddened that the boys couldn't find it in them to see that their sister is also a victim of our failures, but we agreed to gave them the space to heal at their own pace.

    This changed when we found out that our oldest is about to be married to his fiancee. We didn't even know he got engaged. We had to find that out from a distant relative's congratulations post on Facebook. We were hurt, but mostly we understand that we no longer have the right to expect an invitation. We warned our daughter not to snoop, and to just let what happens happens. She didn't listen. She found out that our oldest posted about how much he loves his brothers and couldn't choose between the two of them to be his best man, so he's going to have both of them share the same role in hie wedding.

    Our daughter is understandably upset and sees this post as a deliberate snub to her. My wife and I do feel that the post is unnecessarily inflammatory, and doesn't need to be posted to the public, regardless if he was expecting us to read it or not. We tried to contact the boys once more, and to our disappointment, the first thing they said to us in years is that we all are "formally uninvited". Our daughter hadn't stopped crying since.

    Their mother and I have accepted our estrangement. It's the consequences of our own actions. But is it so bad for us to want for our daughter what the boys had found in each other? The way we see it leaving things to fester might do just as much harm as trying to intervene at this point. So AITA for reaching out to our sons on our daughter's behalf?

    LetThemEatHay 31136 S x 8 6m

    YTA.

    It sucks that your daughter is now being punished for your and your wife's failings as parents, but guess what? Her brother's wedding is not about HER. Tell me, does she keep in constant contact with her brothers? Does she really know anything about them at all? If the answer is no, then why should she expect a place of honor among his wedding party?

    YOU ARE STILL MAKING HER THE GOLDEN CHILD AND SCAPEGOATING YOUR SONS. Go back to therapy.

    Possible-Plane-756 8457 25m

    I was just about to type the same thing. They aren't done with therapy. What OP described is exactly the behavior they said they were aware of and were trying to stop.

    I don't know you OP, but I want to go no contact with you, too.

    UGH.

    ms_movie 9833 S x 5 G x 2 1h49m

    Yep. Son #1 posted something about how fortunate he is to have two amazing brothers and couldn’t decide which one he wants as best man so they will share the honor.

    And somehow OP and their golden girl sees this as a deliberate snub and unnecessarily inflammatory.

    WTF? It’s not about you or how you feel. These boys spent 18+ years worrying about how their parents and sister feel. It’s not about them anymore. You probably aren’t even on their radar.

    These boys are out here living their best life and if the shine they put out casts you in the shade then that’s a you problem.

    Bethelica 2879 2h13m

    "If their shine casts you in shadow - that's a you problem" Hoooooly shit this is good 👏

    Zea_Wynne 327 2h23m

    I really am going to have to use this quote!

    ms_movie 52 2h28m Please do!

    lisamistisa 16 3h44m

    Me too!! IraSimon 187 4h8m

    I would add that the daughter should forget about ever being part of their lives again, and should strive instead to lose her sense of entitlement, become her best self, and make friends that she can turn into quasi siblings. The brothers are gone./

    Drayle171 37 5h56m

    I would say best case scenario if she loses her golden child behaviour is maybe in like 10-20 years her and the brothers might atleast find some peace with each other. They wont ever be close but hopefully it would help the brothers get some final form of peace about their shitty childhoods and help the sister grow into a better person. But this is based on the sister realising and accepting her role and trying to become a better person, which would be better for her as well. She is an adult now and has to take responsibility for herself and realise not everything is about her.

    AngiOGraham 6 7h28m

    Are you a bot, or just a comment thief?

    Source : www.rareddit.com

    wanting my sons to stop excluding my daughter : weddingshaming

    159 votes, 37 comments. 278k members in the weddingshaming community. A place to shame wedding themes, brides, grooms, wedding party, in-laws …

    159

    wanting my sons to stop excluding my daughter

    Family Drama Crossposted by u/Annual_Current604 26 days ago

    wanting my sons to stop excluding my daughter

    Family Drama r/AmItheAsshole • Posted by

    u/concernedfather256

    26 days ago 3

    AITA for wanting my sons to stop excluding my daughter?

    [removed]

    10.7k points1.6k comments

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    level 1 LadyVengeance6661 MOD · 26 days ago · Stickied comment

    Kākāpō Modding Rituals

    REMINDER: WE ARE NOT AITA! WE DO NOT DO JUDGEMENT CALLS (NTA, ESH, YTA, INFO, NAH, ECT.) SO DO NOT VOTE IN THIS POST. AS WELL, OUR OP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE AITA POST'S OP, PLEASE NO NOT ADDRESS YOUR COMMENT TO MYSELF OR OUR OP.Copy in case it's deleted:

    My wife and I have 4 children, 3 boys (26, 25, 23) and a girl (20). Some of you might wonder if we kept trying until we had our daughter, and unfortunately you'd be right. We've always wanted a daughter, and I'll admit that this desire made us less than ideal parents to our boys. We were so fixated on the idea of a daughter that we heavily favored her after she was born, much to the detriment of her brothers.

    Through therapy and counseling, we now know that we have made them their sister's scapegoat, turning our daughter not only into a spoiled golden child, but also a common enemy for the boys and the bearer of their resentment. Their childhood I think made them especially close as brothers, but it only served to highlight just how much they despised us and their sister. By the time we realized our mistakes, it was too late to undo the damage. The eldest two already cut us off, and less than two years of therapy and counseling did next to nothing for our youngest son. He graduated high school and we never heard from him too since. We are saddened that the boys couldn't find it in them to see that their sister is also a victim of our failures, but we agreed to gave them the space to heal at their own pace.

    This changed when we found out that our oldest is about to be married to his fiancee. We didn't even know he got engaged. We had to find that out from a distant relative's congratulations post on Facebook. We were hurt, but mostly we understand that we no longer have the right to expect an invitation. We warned our daughter not to snoop, and to just let what happens happens. She didn't listen. She found out that our oldest posted about how much he loves his brothers and couldn't choose between the two of them to be his best man, so he's going to have both of them share the same role in hie wedding.

    Our daughter is understandably upset and sees this post as a deliberate snub to her. My wife and I do feel that the post is unnecessarily inflammatory, and doesn't need to be posted to the public, regardless if he was expecting us to read it or not. We tried to contact the boys once more, and to our disappointment, the first thing they said to us in years is that we all are "formally uninvited". Our daughter hadn't stopped crying since.

    Their mother and I have accepted our estrangement. It's the consequences of our own actions. But is it so bad for us to want for our daughter what the boys had found in each other? The way we see it leaving things to fester might do just as much harm as trying to intervene at this point. So AITA for reaching out to our sons on our daughter's behalf?

    Vote level 1 MmPeachPie · 26 days ago

    If this is true, and I find it unlikely, it obviously hasn’t been enough time and the sons still want space. No one needs family drama especially not at a wedding. Just move on. You’ve picked your favourite kid, maybe she’ll let you be at her wedding…

    183 level 2 Dancing_Trash_Panda · 23 days ago

    The first rule of AITA is to assume every story is false. Honestly I wish this and other subs would ban crossposting from there. The reason it's like that is because they got so much attention allowing wild stories.

    18 level 1 Lucky-Worth · 26 days ago

    Sounds like a creative writing exercise

    145 level 2 Dancing_Trash_Panda · 23 days ago

    Right? What presumably 50+ year old person posts on Reddit using common relationship/raised by narcissists vernacular? "Scapegoat." "Golden child."

    Sounds like someone who frequents those subs posted a revenge fantasy from their parents POV so they could watch their parents get ripped to shreds.

    33

    Continue this thread

    level 2 Bottle_Nachos · 25 days ago

    only real life can produce these weird stories

    11 level 1 slide_into_my_BM · 26 days ago

    7 hour old account that’s this incredibly self aware and yet still felt the “need” to post on AITA? Seems like someone is practicing their creative writing

    232 level 2 napsdufroid · 26 days ago

    That was your immediate reaction, too?

    42

    Continue this thread

    Source : www.reddit.com

    "AITA For Wanting To Be Without My Children On Mother's Day?"

    Mom got the Mother’s Day weekend off from her parenting duties and while she thinks she will have the best celebration, others in her life called her a horrible person.

    Powered by

    Most countries in the world celebrate Mother’s Day on the second Sunday of May. Traditionally, the day is spent with family doing fun activities together and children showing appreciation to their moms for always being there for them.

    But does anyone ask what the mom wants? How does she want to celebrate her day? It probably happens rarely, as we could guess after reading the comments talking about a story posted by Reddit user BadMomsChristmas. She was planning to spend the day alone and people mainly expressed their envy, but the mom posed the question of whether she’s being a jerk in the first place as she heard other reactions in real life.

    More info: Reddit

    A mom gets an opportunity to spend the Mother’s Day weekend alone, but starts to feel guilty for not spending time with her children after hearing people’s reactions

    Image credits: Ewen Roberts (not the actual image)

    The Original Poster (OP) is a mother in her 40s who has kids going to elementary school. It goes without saying that she loves her kids regardless of if they misbehave or are the sweetest angels at times.

    She also has a loving husband who is greatly involved in raising the children together, he actually does a significant chunk of housework, and this dynamic works out fine with their work schedules.

    Even though they are a happy family that could go on a postcard, being a parent, a spouse and an employee sucks the energy out of you no matter how happy you are. Especially when the children are little and they require a lot of attention.

    The OP confesses that she feels tired. Her days start with her dropping off her children at school and that just means chaos every morning because there is always something going on with the kids.

    The mom has a good relationship with both her children and her husband who is equally involved in parenting and house chores

    Image credits: u/BadMomsChristmas

    After a hectic start to the day, the OP goes to work and her job involves talking to people most of the time, which she describes as ‘semi-demanding.’ We can only assume that the evenings are quite busy too and even though the weekends are more chill, the mom gets only a couple of hours to relax if the kids have something to do.

    A survey conducted by the food delivery service Munchery found that moms get only 32 minutes a day of me time. Another survey commissioned by Campbell’s Well Yes! Sipping Soups showed that 53 percent of mothers would sacrifice sleep to be able to fully execute their parental duties and 47 percent of them would give up date nights, hobbies and nights with friends. They would also eat more on the go and less nutritional food just to save time, at the same time making sure their kids are eating properly.

    But having kids of elementary school age is exhausting and on top of that, the mom works a reasonably demanding job full-time

    Image credits: u/BadMomsChristmas

    So for Mother’s Day, her husband suggested to take the kids to his dad’s house, which the OP thought was a great idea

    Image credits: u/BadMomsChristmas

    Working hard is admirable, but everyone not only deserves but needs a break. So OP’s husband decided to take the children to his dad’s house for the Mother’s Day weekend. According to the mom, the kids love being with their grandad so not only will she enjoy a weekend alone, the kids will have fun as well.

    In her mind, everything seemed fine, but the reactions she got from the people she knew were quite unpleasant as they accused her of not loving her children because she wouldn’t wake up to their hug on Sunday. Not only was her love for her children questioned, but people called the dad a jerk for taking the kids to his family.

    Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual image)

    Image credits: u/BadMomsChristmas

    But what shows that she is a good mother is her children’s behavior. In one of the responses to the comments, the OP said that when her kids found out they would be leaving for the weekend, they hugged her and said ‘Happy Mother’s Day!’ in advance because there isn’t a bad day to show appreciation to your parents.

    Source : www.boredpanda.com

    Do you want to see answer or more ?
    James 14 day ago
    4

    Guys, does anyone know the answer?

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